Stammering Still
Thoughts on a new chapter and writing about it
I got my port removed almost two weeks ago.
A quick and easy procedure. 15 minutes in the procedure room: a local anesthetic, a cut, port removed, a couple stitches and I was being wheeled back to the recovery room where Aaron was waiting. I treated myself to a McFlurry on the way home to celebrate another milestone.
A chapter is coming to a close.
Many pages have been turned in this chapter that began in November of 2023. I wasn’t sure when I’d truly feel like a new chapter would being. After the first round of chemo? After the lumpectomy? After my second round of chemo? In five years after I’d finished my hormone blocker medication that I will take everyday?
But I’m feeling it. A new chapter is beginning!
Cancer will no long be the main idea of the next chapter. I know cancer will be a thread through the rest of the story. The effects of chemo, surgery that changed my appearance, medications, follow up appointments—but I will no longer have to work my life around infusions, sick days, doctors appointments and tests several times a month.
As a new chapter of my life begins, this blog space will take a transition as well. Many of the blogs were health updates of sorts. It was an easy way to keep you all in the loop as I walked this chapter.
I will be forever grateful for your prayers and support. No matter how small you think your contribution was to this chapter of my life, I count it all SUPER SIGNIFICANT. I made it through some of the toughest days of my life because of your prayers and encouragement.
I don’t think God has asked me to stop writing.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret and a confession—I wish He would. :) I don’t think of myself as a writer and I’ve been disobedient. I haven’t written when He’s asked me to. I find all the reasons not to write. I’m like Moses—
Moses raised another objection to God: “Master, please, I don’t talk well. I’ve never been good with words, neither before nor after you spoke to me. I stutter and stammer.” Exodus 4:10 MSG
—but I know, it’s not about whether I think I’m good enough; it’s about being obedient to Him. I want to do what He’s asked of me, because of my love for Him.
I love God’s response to Moses:
“And who do you think made the human mouth? And who makes some mute, some deaf, some sighted, some blind? Isn’t it I, God? So get going. I’ll be right there with you —with your mouth! I’ll be right there to teach you what to say.” Exodus 4:11-12 MSG
So here I am: believing God is right here with me. Teaching me what to say.
Feel free to unsubscribe if you no longer what to receive my blog. No hard feelings. :) I really don’t know who has subscribed and who hasn’t. I really don’t check the numbers, because they really don’t matter to me. To be honest, I wish it was only a couple, then there wouldn’t be too many who would be reading my stutter and stammering.
Love you all!
Rachel
All your blogs have been great Rachel Marie. I’ve said it before I’m so proud of the way of you and letting God do His work in you and the way you’ve walked through this .
Excited your next chapter as well. Love ya !