A year ago yesterday, I got up, found some warm clothes, hat, scarf, and gloves jumped into my car and drove the short distant to our local park. The annual Thanksgiving Day Turkey Trot was about to start. I wasn’t going to miss an opportunity to cheer for my son as he ran.
Everyone else was either still in bed, making cinnamon rolls, or grilling the turkey, so I stood alone watching, waiting on him to pass by. Many thoughts were going through my mind. What if this is the last time I get to cheer for him? What if this is the last Thanksgiving I get to spend hugging, eating, laughing with my family?
A year ago yesterday, I was pretty confident that within the next few days my life would change. A biopsy was scheduled for the following day and we would know for sure if the lump I had found would, in fact, be cancer.
There are so many things about my life that have changed since that day. But there are so many things that are the same. Some I’m grateful for and others I wish I could go back to the way life was. I’m sure as you look back over the chapters of your life you could say the same.
The moment my life changed You assured me of your nearness Your promise to stay Even in my apathy You stand waiting You continue to knock Waiting to be invited in You want to share meals with me You pursue relationship with me over anything else When I don't feel worthy You remind me I am worthy Because Your life that was given for me
Today I choose to lift my head and heart.
To accept Your sacrifice for me. Surrendering my life once again to You, God. As we discussed at church Sunday, I give You all the lukewarm parts of my life and ask You to breath life into them.
Ready for some transparency?
One of the reasons it’s been so long since I’ve posted is because I am too worried about what others think. This is one of those things that hasn’t changed too much this past year. Remember my post about my hair? Well, I’m still a work in progress.
Worrying about what others think causes me to shut down. I get excited about something, then my mind takes over.
What will so and so think? I have so many areas in my life that need work. I have no business writing. And the list goes on.
At the beginning of this journey, writing was something God asked me to do. I want my love for the Lord to be greater than my worries about what others think.
So today I write.
Now it’s your turn.
What’s God ask you to do? Are you being obedient?
Health update.
I’m still getting chemo every three weeks. Only 4 more left.
I get a shot every 4 weeks to continue to keep my ovaries shut down.
My year follow up appointment is on December 11th where I’ll get a mammogram and a couple of ultrasounds.
I continue to get echocardiograms every three months to make sure the chemo hasn’t effected my heart. So far so good.
I was taking a prescription med to stop all hormone production, but it was causing such joint pain that I had to stop for a while. We will try again in a couple of weeks.
Babe, thanks again for the reminders, I look forward to rooting you on as you run in the Turkey trot this year& for the record I think you’re awesome for even attempting it. It has been a wild ride this year. I’m still a work in progress too. I noted much the same on my journal this morning.
I love you!! Thanks for still being here.